(M 


GIFT  OF 


'•   L 


"wo  Lives 


in  One 


by 

Charles  Gardner 


PREFACE 


In  putting  this  little  book  be- 
fore the  public,  I  wish  to  bring 
out  clearly,  that  it  is  not  for  the 
purpose  of  bringing  myself  into 
notoriety,  nor  is  it  for  the  sake  of 
self-aggrandisement.  My  real  pur- 
pose for  writing  this  book  is  to 
encourage  those  who  have  become 
blind,  and  apparently  helpless,  by 
showing  that  there  is  a  compensa- 
tion in  life,  at  the  present  time, 
for  all  our  infirmities.  It  seems  to 
be  necessary  for  those  who  are 
blind  or  otherwise  handicapped, 
to  make  a  superhuman  effort  to 
make  something  out  of  them- 
selves. 

The  first  beginnings,  though 
they  are  small,  will  require  the 
greatest  effort.  It  must  be  borne 
in  mind  that  all  progress  is  from 
the  little  to  the  great.  It  will  re- 
quire much  time  and  patience  to 
reach  a  point  in  life  where  all  can 
share  the  good  things  of  life 
equally.  We  do  not  all  enjoy  the 
same  thing;  one  likes  one  thing 


and  someone  else,  another.  Life 
is  so  vast,  that  when  one  source 
of  enjoyment  is  cut  off,  there  can 
be  other  avenues  opened  up  and 
cultivated  to  just  as  great  a  de- 
gree of  efficiency. 

I  do  not  wish  to  raise  false 
hopes  in  the  minds  of  those  who 
are  handicapped,  but  I  will  say 
that  to  get  the  most  out  of  life  one 
must  keep  active  mentally.  It  is 
the  running  stream  that  purifies 
itself.  If  it  were  not  for  the  hopes 
that  I  entertained  I  would  have 
died  long  ago  of  despair. 

This  book  has  not  been  written 
from  dictation  but  has  been  typed 
by  the  author,  who  learned  the 
use  of  the  typewriter  after  be- 
coming blind. 


Two  Lives  in  One 

by 

Charles  Gardner 

3938  Arizona  Street 
San  Diego,  California 


Copyright  2920 


BRACKMAM  -  STEWART  PRINTING  CO. 

216  WEST  F  STREET.  SAN  DIEGO.  CALIF. 


CHILDHOOD 

CHAPTER  I. 

I  have  been  told  by  those  who 
have  a  right  to  know,  that  I  was 
born  on  the  16th  day  of  January, 
1870.  I  must  have  been  very 
young  at  that  time,  as  I  have  not 
the  faintest  recollection  of  how  I 
looked  or  how  I  felt,  or  anything 
about  it.  Several  years  passed  be- 
fore the  things  I  felt  or  saw  or 
heard,  found  their  way  deep 
enough  into  my  memory  for  me 
to  retain  them,  after  a  lapse  of 
nearly  fifty  years. 

We  lived  in  what  was,  at  that 
time,  called  The  West.  It  was 
west  of  the  Mississippi  River  in 
the  State  of  Minnesota.  I  remem- 
ber the  little  old  log  house  on  the 
top  of  a  hill  in  which  I  was  born. 
There  was  a  cool  running  spring, 
a  hundred  yards  or  so  down  the 
hill  from  the  house.  I  might  well 
remember  it  because  I  had  to 
carry  water  from  that  spring  up 
the  hill  to  the  house.  The  buckets 
the  little  chap  used  were  not  very 


415791 


heavy,  but  they  seemed  always  to 
gain  in  weight  with  every  step. 
There  was  another  small  stream 
of  water  not  more  than  half  a  mile 
from  the  house,  that  we  used  to 
call  a  creek.  That  stream  ran  at 
the  foot  of  a  high  bluff  heavily 
timbered  with  oak,  pine,  sugar- 
maple,  hickory,  and  other  kinds 
of  wood. 

I  remember  that  there  were 
trout  in  the  creek  that  used  to  find 
their  way  into  the  frying  pan ;  and 
there  were  deep  pools  in  it  just 
deep  enough  to  drown  a  boy  who 
could  not  swim.  One  day  I  fell 
in  and  had  all  the  sensations  of 
drowning,  but  was  pulled  out  in 
time  to  save  my  life.  It  is  not  so 
hard  to  die  of  drowning  as  it  is 
some  other  ways,  for  one  soon 
goes  to  sleep. 

I  remember  that  there  was  a 
great  deal  of  timber  not  far  from 
our  house.  There  were  timber 
wolves  in  that  country  at  that 
time.  At  night  when  those  wolves 
came  close  to  the  edge  of  the 
woods  and  howled,  it  was  then  I 
covered  my  head  with  the  bed 


clothes  and  shivered.  In  the  win- 
ter there  was  much  snow  and  ice, 
and  there  were  plenty  of  hills  to 
slide  down  en  our  little  home- 
made sleds;  and  there  were 
plenty  of  trees  for  sleds  to  run 
into  if  they  were  not  steered 
aright;  and  hitting  a  tree  some- 
times meant  a  sore  head  or  a  brok- 
en arm,  or  something  of  the  kind. 

In  the  fall  of  the  year  there  used 
to  be  a  great  time  when  the  nuts 
were  ripe;  there  were  black  wal- 
nuts, butter-nuts,  hickory-nuts, 
and  hazel-nuts,  as  many  as  we 
wanted  to  gather.  At  that  time 
the  farms  were  few  and  far  be- 
tween, and  many  miles  from  a 
city ;  even  a  number  of  miles  from 
a  village,  so  that  there  was  no  sale 
for  nuts  of  any  kind. 

When  I  was  a  very  little  chap, 
children  were  not  called  "kids", 
little  boys  v/ere  generally  called 
"bub".  I  remember  that  my  par- 
ents were  very  strict  about  the 
Sabbath  day.  There  was  no 
work  done  on  the  Sabbath  Day! 
and  there  was  no  playing  on  the 
Sabbath  Day!  there  was  no  going 


for  plums  nor  gathering  nuts  nor 
anything  else  that  would  be  agree- 
able for  a  boy  to  do;  the  young- 
ster had  to  stay  in  the  house  and 
sit  on  a  chair  and  be  very  good 
on  the  Sabbath  Day!  It  was  a 
dull  day  for  a  small  boy ;  no  sleigh 
riding  in  winter;  no  fishing  in 
summer.  That  sitting  still  all  day 
may  have  been  rest  to  some  peo- 
ple, but  to  me  it  was  the  hardest 
kind  of  work.  It  never  really  im- 
pressed itself  upon  my  mind  why 
a  boy  should  be  deprived  of  all  his 
playthings,  even  if  it  were  a  day 
of  rest;  it  never  used  to  make  me 
tired  to  play  and  I  did  not  want 
any  rest. 

When  a  little  fellow  I  was  very 
much  afraid  of  the  darkness; 
there  were  two  reasons  for  that, 
one  was  the  fear  of  wild  beasts, 
for  one  heard  many  stories  of  lit- 
tle children  being  carried  off  by  a 
panther  or  some  other  wild  ani- 
mal ;  the  other  reason  was  the  fear 
of  the  wrath  of  God, — an  idea 
fostered  by  hearing  Bible  stories 
telling  about  the  wrath  of  God 
falling  upon  the  people  who  did 

10 


wrong. 

It  has  always  seemed  to  me  a 
crime  for  parents  to  teach  little 
children  the  stories  of  the  Bible 
without  explaining  that  they  are 
allegories.  If  a  man  did  a  wrong 
it  was  never  forgiven;  and  if  he 
did  a  right  it  was  not  to  be  re- 
warded until  he  was  dead.  I  call 
that  mighty  poor  stuff  to  present 
to  the  mind  of  a  child  that  is  just 
beginning  its  life! 

I  remember  when  a  little  boy 
that  I  was  strictly  honest;  that 
was  before  I  knew  there  was  any- 
thing other  than  truth.  I  was 
willing  to  believe  everything  that 
was  told  without  question,  until 
one  day  a  child  borrowed  a  play- 
thing of  mine  with  the  promise  to 
give  it  back  and  did  not  do  so. 
About  that  time  I  heard  there  was 
such  a  thing  as  a  lie,  which  was  a 
pretty  hard  blow  to  an  honest  and 
innocent  child,  but  the  worst  was 
still  to  follow. 

A  child  is  a  questioner.  I  used 
to  ask  my  parents  a  great  number 
of  questions  that  could  not  have 
been  answered  directly,  and  some 

11 


that  could  not  have  been  answered 
at  all ;  consequently  I  was  put  off 
with  evasive  answers  with  the  in- 
tent to  mislead  and  to  keep  me  in 

ignorance  of  the  short-comings  of 
life  as  long  as  possible.  When, 
by  chance,  I  found  out  that  I  had 
been  deceived  by  my  parents  it 
was  almost  more  than  I  could 
bear.  I  was  willing  to  admit  that 
some  children,  or  even  some 
grown  up  people,  might  tell  lies, 
but  I  was  sure  that  my  parents 
could  not  do  such  a  thing.  The 
highest  ideal  that  a  child  has  is  to 
be  found  in  its  parents.  When 
that  ideal  is  lost  there  seems  to 
be  nothing  else  worth  while. 
There  are  many  things  one  has  to 
get  used  to  in  this  world,  and  a 
child  can  get  used  to  them  about 
as  quickly  as  anyone.  I  soon  got 
to  know  that  there  was  a  differ- 
ence in  lies ;  black  lies  were  meant 
to  injure  people;  and  there  were 
white  ones  that  were  called  "fibs" 
that  one  could  tell  to  keep  from 
getting  into  trouble.  Those  little 
white  fellows  were  the  best  kind 
to  start  using;  we  might  tell  one 

12 


of  that  kind  to  save  our  pants  if 
we  were  not  caught  at  it,  and  of 
course  we  never  intended  to  be 
caught. 

As  I  look  far  back  into  the  days 
of  my  childhood,  it  does  not  seem 
to  have  been  a  very  happy  one, 
although  there  are  many  bright 
spots  in  it.  Going  out  into  the 
forest  on  a  beautiful  day  in  sum- 
mer, hearing  the  birds  sing  and 
the  squirrels  chatter,  helped  to 
make  these  bright  spots;  or  to 
spend  the  day  at  the  babbling 
brook,  and  not  fall  in,  helped  to 
make  more  bright  spots.  All  man- 
ner of  disappointments  (and  there 
seemed  to  be  many)  made  the 
dark  spots.  The  one  bitter  dis- 
appointment was  to  have  to  give 
up  what  I  thought  I  knew  was 
best  for  me  to  have  or  to  do,  for 
something  that  someone  else 
thought  was  best;  and  even 
though  I  afterwards  found  the 
new  way  to  be  the  right  way,  just 
as  surely  did  I  know  that  I  was 
right  when  the  next  dispute  arose. 

is 


I  did  not  value  time  and  ex- 
perience because  I  had  never  used 
them.  I  had  not  lived  long  enough 
to  know  what  time  is.  I  have 
learned  from  that  little  child  to 
know  that  we  do  not  know  the 
value  of  that  which  we  do  not  use. 
A  little  will  do  for  a  child  but  as 
we  grow  older  we  need  more.  If 
the  body  grows  and  develops  the 
other  qualities  must  also  grow 
and  develop  to  keep  everything 
balanced.  When  I  was  a  child  I 
had  my  cares  and  worries;  if  it 
was  not  a  sliver  in  the  hand  or 
foot  it  was  a  stone  bruise  or  some 
other  thing  equally  terrible.  A 
child's  mind  is  made  of  fine  fabric 
and  it  takes  but  little  to  snarl  it. 
From  what  I  have  been  told,  and 
I  have  no  reason  to  doubt  it,  I 
took  all  child's  diseases,  such  as 
measles  and  chicken  pox;  and  I 
do  not  remember  of  being  whip- 
ped or  scolded  then  for  taking 
what  did  not  belong  to  me,  but 
the  suffering  was  much  greater 
than  it  would  have  been  if  I  had 
taken  a  piece  of  cake  after  being 
told  not  to  do  so,  and  got  the 

14 


back-side  of  my  pants  warmed; 
that  would  pay  the  debt  and  the 
pain  would  soon  be  gone!  There 
is  nothing  nice  about  being  sick 
except  the  getting  well  when  one 

is  the  pet  of  the  household.  At 
that  time  if  any  body  gave  me  a 
word  of  kindness,  I  was  willing 
to  serve  them  time  and  again, 
but  it  was  not  easy  to  serve  when 
spoken  to  in  an  unkind  way,  and 
the  work  was  never  well  done 
when  done  under  compulsion. 

I  remember  also  that  it  would 
make  me  very  proud  to  be  able  to 
do  some  little  thing  entirely  alone ; 
to  make  or  discover  something  all 
alone,  or  even  to  seem  to  learn 
something  entirely  alone.  I 
thought  I  was  the  only  one  in  the 
world  who  knew  it,  and  was  in 
haste  to  impart  the  great  discov- 
ery to  some  other  person.  It  was 
always  a  disappointment  to  find 
out  that  others  knew  it  long  be- 
fore, which  marred  my  satisfac- 
tion with  it  and  I  must  try  again 
to  find  out  something  greater  the 
next  time. 

16 


My  loves  as  a  child  were  not 
very  steadfast,  being  mostly  of 
the  emotional  kind,  but  I  have  al- 
ways loved  love  and  hated  hate. 
When  we  are  all  lovers  of  each  in 
all  and  all  in  each  the  Will  of  God 
will  be  done  on  earth  as  in  heaven. 


Childhood  and  Youth 

CHAPTER  II. 

The  child  has  been  found  to 
have  a  great  number  of  angles, 
dimensions  or  phases  of  char- 
acter; so  must  the  youth  have 
equally  as  many.  In  youth  they 
should  become  more  highly  de- 
veloped. If  the  child  is  the  spring- 
time of  life  then  it  is  the  time  of 
planting  the  seed.  Youth  must  be 
the  summer  of  life,  the  time  when 
the  greatest  growth  is  made. 
Youth  is  the  time  for  the  greatest 
physical  and  mental  development ; 
it  seems  to  be  entering  into  a  new 
state  but  always  taking  the  child 
with  it.  In  many  cases  the  youth 
is  an  overgrown  child. 

It  seems  to  me  that  my  youth 
was  the  happiest  part  of  my  life 
up  to  the  age  of  forty.  Many 
changes  were  wrought  in  the  con- 
ditions of  the  farm.  There  was  a 
new  frame  house  erected  in  place 
of  the  log  one.  There  was  a  well 
sunken  near  the  house.  There 
were  barns  erected  for  the  stock. 

17 


There  was  a  great  deal  of  land 
cleared  and  brought  under  culti- 
vation. Much,  however,  remained 
virgin  soil,  and  there  were  still 
large  numbers  of  wild  animals  in 
the  country. 

The  neighbors  were  not  very 
close  together  at  that  time,  and 
that  made  the  school  houses  a 
long  distance  apart.  The  little  log 
school  that  I  went  to  was  located 
about  two  miles  from  our  farm. 
We  had  to  go  through  the  woods 
and  over  hills  to  get  to  it  or  to  go 
many  miles  around  if  we  followed 
the  wagon  road.  School  did  not 
keep  open  the  whole  year;  it  was 
mostly  closed  in  summer  and  open 
in  winter.  There  was  such  a  vast 
amount  of  snow  at  times  that  I 
was  often  obliged  to  stay  away. 

I  was  taught  some  at  home  but 
it  did  not  seem  to  take  the  same 
kind  of  hold,  or  else  I  did  not  stick 
to  it  as  closely  as  I  would  have 
done  if  I  had  been  at  school.  On 
the  whole  I  had  very  little  real 
teaching,  so  that  mental  develop- 
ment was  slow;  moreover  at  that 
time  I  did  not  know  the  great 

18 


value  of  an  education.  I  had  never 
had  an  education  and  had  never 
used  one,  so  how  should  I  know 
that  there  was  any  value  in  it? 
Apparently  we  have  to  use  a  thing 
to  appreciate  its  value.  Oh,  yes,  I 
was  told  it  had  a  value,  and  I  had 
been  told  a  lot  of  other  things 
that  I  had  found  to  be  untrue,  so 
what  was  I  to  believe?  Then, 
again  it  was  hard  work  to  sit  still 
for  hours  at  a  time  with  your  nose 
in  a  book,  and  it  was  not  easy  to 
remember  one  of  those  crooked 
letters  from  another;  the  "p"  and 
"q"  looked  nearly  alike,  how  could 
a  child  remember  which  side  of 
the  stem  the  loop  was  on?  There 
were  lots  of  others  that  were  just 
as  bad. 

Then  the  writing !  Even  though 
there  was  a  copy-book  it  was  hard 
and  impossible  to  write  anything 
that  looked  like  the  copy.  Arith- 
metic was  a  torment  for  a  long 
time,  and  I  never  did  get  so  that 
I  could  spell.  A  child  has  to  learn 
the  names  of  everything  and  has 
to  learn  the  meanings  of  every- 
thing. There  is  such  a  vast 

19 


amount  of  stuff  thrown  into  a 
child's  mind  in  a  short  time  that 
it  is  no  wonder  that  it  does  not  al- 
ways work  accurately. 

Going  to  a  school  as  I  had  to, 
where  all  the  grades  were  heard 
in  the  same  room,  it  was  not  easy 
to  keep  my  mind  upon  my  work. 
Even  with  all  the  hindrances  and 
disadvantages  I  managed  to  get  a 
little  general  knowledge  of  things 
but  not  enough  to  take  an  equal 
place  in  the  commercial  world 
and  make  a  success  in  business. 

As  a  youth  I  liked  to  make 
bows  and  arrows  out  of  the  sec- 
ond growth  hickory,  to  fish  and 
to  hunt  small  game  of  which 
there  was  plenty.  There  was  al- 
ways something  to  do  in  the 
woods;  gathering  sap  from  the 
sugar-maples  in  the  spring;  plum 
hunting  and  blackberrying  in  the 
summer,  and  nutting  in  the  fall. 
It  seems  to  me  that  I  used  to  like 
the  fall  of  the  year  the  best  for 
that  was  the  time  of  the  ripening 
of  the  nuts.  The  hazel-nuts  were 
the  first  to  be  gathered;  there 
were  hazel  bushes  every  where; 

20 


one  could  have  all  the  hazel-nuts 
one  wanted  for  the  picking;  then 
came  the  hickory-nuts,  butter-nuts 
and  the  black  walnuts.  All  one 
had  to  do  was  to  go  and  knock 
them  off  the  trees,  put  them  into 
bags,  and  take  them  home.  The 
trees  were  in  the  forest  and  the 
nuts  belonged  to  these  who  got 
there  first !  There  were  also  large 
numbers  of  nut-bearing  trees  so 
there  was  plenty  of  food  left  for 
the  squirrels  cr  any  other  wild 
animals  that  lived  on  nuts. 

Those  nuts  were  a  joy  to  me  in 
the  long  winter  evenings  sitting 
in  front  cf  a  nice  log  fire.  The 
wolves  could  howl  as  much  as 
they  liked,  I  was  not  so  very 
much  afraid  inside  the  house;  I 
shivered  a  little  now  and  then 
when  they  seemed  to  be  quite 
near. 

When  not  at  school  I  helped  to 
do  the  work  on  the  farm.  I  liked 
looking  after  the  horses  and  cat- 
tle, except  going  for  the  cows  af- 
ter dark  if  they  happened  not  to 
come  home.  I  learned  to  harness 

21 


and  bridle  the  horses  when  I  had 
to  stand  on  the  manger  to  reach 
their  heads.  As  for  riding,  both 
in  the  saddle  and  bare-back,  I 
cannot  remember  when  I  did  not 
know  how. 

When  the  neighbors  live  from 
one-half  to  a  mile  apart  one  does 
not  have  many  playfellows,  but 
after  starting  to  school  I  soon 
knew  quite  a  few  boys  of  my  own 
age. 

I  used  to  go  swimming,  fishing 
and  hunting  with  them  and  we 
played  games,  such  as  jumping 
and  wrestling.  I  never  was  a  good 
wrestler  nor  fighter ;  I  did  not  care 
to  pound  other  boys'  faces  much 
better  than  I  cared  to  have  my 
own  face  pounded.  I  also  be- 
came acquainted  with  some  girls. 
I  am  sure  I  thought  them  the 
nicest  things  in  the  world,  but  I 
never  told  one  so.  I  was  so  ter- 
ribly bashful  that  I  would  rather 
die  than  sit  in  the  same  seat  at 
school  with  one  of  them.  I  must 
have  been  something  of  a  coward ; 
afraid  of  the  dark;  afraid  of  the 
girls;  and  afraid  to  fight. 

22 


I  regularly  got  my  pants  dusted 
if  my  parents  found  out  that  I  had 
been  fighting.  It  was  hard  to  get 
a  black  eye  from  a  boy  and  then 
go  home  and  get  fixed  so  that  one 
would  rather  stand  up  than  sit 
down  for  the  rest  of  the  day! 
There  may  have  been  times  when 
I  got  a  whipping  when  I  did  not 
deserve  it,  but  I  am  quite  sure 
there  were  times  that  I  should 
have  had  one  that  I  did  not  get. 
There  was  an  old  proverb  at  our 
house  that  went  something  like 
this:  "spare  the  rod  and  spoil  the 
child."  I  was  brought  up  to  rev- 
erence my  parents  at  a  distance; 
there  was  none  of  that  real  per- 
sonal fellowship  that  is  so  dear  in 
many  homes.  It  may  have  been 
because  we  were  frontier  people 
or  it  may  have  been  for  some 
other  reason,  I  do  not  know,  and 
it  does  not  matter  now,  I  am  only 
telling  my  own  life  story  and  do 
not  want  to  try  and  tell  another's. 

There  was  no  church  in  the 
neighborhood  that  my  Dad  be- 
lieved in,  so  all  I  knew  about  re- 
ligion I  learned  at  home.  Sab 


bath  was  strictly  observed;  no 
work,  no  play,  but  stay  in  the 
house  and  read  the  Bible,  or  hear 
it  read.  Much  time  was  given  to 
the  Old  Testament  wherein  I 
found  many  things  that  were  un- 
reasonable when  taken  literally, 
but  which  I  was  required  to  be- 
lieve and  did  believe  for  a  long 
time  after.  I  used  to  question 
some  of  these  and  was  told  that 
there  were  things  that  the  peo- 
ple were  not  to  know.  That  sort 
of  answer  fills  a  child's  mind  with 
superstition  and  gives  him  a 
wrong  impression  of  the  whole 
state  of  life. 

I  do  not  lay  any  blame  on  Dad ; 
I  know  that  he  did  what  he 
thought  was  best  for  me.  My 
mind  questioned  why  the  Tower 
of  Babel  was  built  in  a  valley 
when  there  were  mountains  thou- 
sands of  feet  high  not  far  away. 
And  how  could  the  sun  and  moon 
stand  still  .when  we  were  taught 
at  school  that  the  earth  spun 
steadily  around  on  its  axis?  I  am 
now  of  the  belief  that  it  would  be 
better  for  children  to  be  taught 

24 


the   things  that  they  can  reason 
out. 

I  was  taught  that  God  was  to 
be  reverenced  at  a  distance.  I 
have  asked  where  heaven  is  and 
have  been  told  that  it  was  away 
up  beyond  the  stars,  whence  an 
unknown  and  undefinable  creat- 
ure ruled  the  world  with  a  rod  of 
iron,  letting  the  people  do  wrong 
if  they  wanted  to,  then  punish- 
ing them  for  not  doing  right.  I 
knew  that  I  did  not  always  do 
right  but  it  did  not  seem  to  make 
any  difference,  if  I  could  keep  my 
parents  from  finding  it  out.  I  be- 
lieved a  lot  of  things  about  God 
and  His  creation  but  I  did  not 
KNOW  a  single  thing  about 
them.  Since  I  have  learned  to 
know  and  enjoy  my  fellowship 
with  God,  I  have  come  to  see  that 
those  who  talk  most  about  know- 
ing God  are  merely  pretending  to 
know.  But  even  this  is  the  way 
we  must  all  take  before  we  really 
find  Him. 


Manhood 

CHAPTER  III. 

If  childhood  is  the  spring  time 
nf  life,  and  youth  the  summer 
time,  manhood  must  be  the  au- 
tumn. The  leaves  of  the  spring 
time  have  faded  and  fallen  to  the 
ground.  At  this  time  in  one's  life 
there  must  be  a  gathering  to- 
gether into  one  place.  What  I 
had  learned  was  all  the  inherit- 
ance I  had.  According  to  the 
Zodiacal  sign  under  which  I  was 
born  I  came  rightfully  by  a  wan- 
dering disposition.  This  explains 
my  coming  to  the  Golden  State 
of  California.  Not  having  any 
money  I  worked  my  way.  It  was 
a  wonderful  revelation  to  get  into 
a  land  where  the  flowers  bloomed 
the  whole  year,  but  that  became 
commonplace  in  time. 

I  had  always  lived  in  a  very 
small  valley  of  life  and  I  did  not 
know  the  ways  of  the  world.  I 
found  myself  a  bashful  country 
boy  in  one  of  the  large  cities,  with- 
out friends  or  money,  and  I 


thought  I  was  having  a  rather 
hard  time,  but  at  last  I  got  a  job 
that  I  was  able  to  hold. 

I  worked  until  I  had  some 
money  laid  up  when  I  got  the  min- 
ing fever  and  went  to  the  mines. 
Not  doing  very  well,  I  tried  rail- 
roading and,  tiring  cf  that,  went 
back  into  the  mining  business.  I 
was  mixing  with  a  rough  element 
and  of  course  a  young  fellow  will 
fall  into  the  ways  of  those  with 
whom  he  keeps  company — at  least, 
that  is  what  I  did. 

After  a  number  of  years,  I  was 
enabled  to  accumulate  several 
thousand  dollars.  I  decided  to 
take  the  money  and  start  into  bus- 
iness. Not  having  had  a  commer- 
cial training  I  foolishly  put  all  my 
money  into  the  venture  and  had 
nothing  to  fall  back  on  while  get- 
ting my  experience;  consequently 
I  failed  and  lost  everything.  Some 
time  after  my  business  failure  I 
returned  once  more  to  the  mines. 

It  was  at  this  time  that  a  great 
change  came  over  my  life.  I  went 
to  work  one  evening  about  five 
o'clock;  at  eight  o'clock  I  was  be- 

27 


ing  carried  out  on  a  stretcher. 
While  picking  up  some  rock  in  the 
bottom  of  the  tunnel,  an  unex- 
ploded  blast  went  off  under  my 
feet,  tearing  up  several  hundred 
pounds  of  rock.  I  received  such 
a  shock  from  the  explosion  that 
I  did  not  feel  any  pain  at  all  when 
I  recovered  consciousness,  which 
was  very  soon  after  the  explosion. 
I  was  taken  to  the  hospital  about 
a  mile  away,  where  it  was  found 
that  I  had  received  some  terrible 
injuries.  I  had  a  first-class  doctor, 
good  nurses,  and  everything  that 
could  be  done  was  done  for  me. 

At  about  2  a.  m.  I  once  more  re- 
covered my  senses ;  there  was  still 
no  pain  but  I  felt  very  small.  It 
was  so  quiet  that  I  was  not  sure 
whether  I  was  alive  or  dead.  I 
remembered  being  blown  up  and 
know  that  I  had  been  severely 
injured.  They  did  not  tell  me  that 
I  must  die,  but  that  is  what  they 
were  expecting  me  to  do.  Some 
hours  later  I  was  burning  up  with 
fever  and  frantic  with  thirst.  I 
asked  for  water  but  was  told  that 
I  must  wait,  as  I  had  been  under 

28 


ether  for  more  than  three  hours, 
and  \vatcr  might  kill  me.  I  beg- 
ged and  begged  for  water.  It 
seemed  as  though  I  would  rather 
die  and  have  done  with  it  than  to 
endure  that  terrible  thirst. 

After  some  hours  which  seemed 
centuries  to  me,  I  was  given  a  few 
drops  of  v/ater,  which  caused  vio- 
lent vomiting.  After  some  time  I 
got  so  that  I  could  keep  the  water 
in  my  stomach  and  then  I  felt 
easier  for  awhile.  Although  they 
had  me  shot  full  of  opium  I  began 
to  have  pain.  I  must  have  lain  in 
a  stupor  until  the  third  night 
when  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  was 
dying.  I  could  neither  cry  out  nor 
move  hand  nor  foot,  feeling  my- 
self sinking  lower  and  lower,  see- 
ing all  kinds  of  lights  flashing 
through  my  head.  I  seemed  to  be 
divided  trying  to  get  back  to  my- 
self. I  was  making  a  terrible 
struggle  for  life.  I  was  afraid  to 
die.  I  knew  the  things  that  I  was 
seeing  were  not  tangible  and  that 
I  must  do  something  at  once  or  all 
would  be  over  for  me.  There  was 
a  nerve  in  my  brain  that  was 

29 


about  ready  to  break.  At  last  I 
made  a  sound  and  the  nurse  came 
to  the  side  of  my  bed.  As  soon 
as  I  felt  her  hand  there  came  a 
great  sense  of  relief.  I  had  been 
pulled  out  again  just  in  time.  I 
told  her  that  I  was  afraid,  would 
she  stay  with  me  for  awhile?  I 
could  move  my  right  hand  just  a 
little  and  would  feel  for  the  nurse's 
hand  once  in  awhile  during  the 
rest  of  that  night;  if  I  touched  it 
I  knew  I  was  all  right. 

It  was  so  terribly  still  and  dark. 
I  did  not  ask  to  be  allowed  to  see 
for  I  felt  my  eyes  were  bandaged. 
When  I  heard  the  other  patients 
stirring  around  I  knew  that  morn- 
ing had  come  at  last,  and  although 
it  gave  me  no  light,  that  frightful 
silence  was  broken.  For  some 
weeks  my  brain  was  on  fire.  In 
my  delirium  I  saw  my  face  as  raw 
as  a  piece  of  beefsteak.  It  ap- 
peared to  be  a  mask;  it  could  be 
lifted  and  I  could  see  my  own  face 
behind  it.  I  got  the  impression 
that  there  had  been  two  of  us 
blown  up  at  the  same  time  and 
that  the  doctors  were  making  a 

30 


test  of  our  eyes.  They  pronounced 
mine  gone  but  the  other  one  could 
see  all  right.  So  long  as  I  was  in 
pain  the  conviction  stayed  with 
me  that  there  had  been  another 
blown  up  with  me  and  was  lying 
in  the  bed  with  me,  on  the  left 
hand  side.  That  was  the  side  that 
was  hurt  the  worst.  I  could  not 
move  my  left  hand  nor  foot.  I 
also  had  the  impression  that  the 
other  one  had  been  more  serious- 
ly hurt  and  was  suffering  more 
than  I  was,  yet  was  not  giving  out 
-i  sound  of  complaint.  I  felt  that 
if  another  could  stand  such  suffer- 
ing without  complaint,  I  could 
stand  it  likewise — and  I  did! 

I  noticed  the  changing  of  the 
bandage  on  my  eyes  and  thought 
the  nurses  darkened  the  room,  but 
after  about  a  month  the  bandage 
was  left  off  altogether;  and  still 
there  was  no  light!  I  asked  the 
doctor  why  I  was  not  able  to  see 
as  there  was  no  bandage  over  my 
eyes.  He  told  me  that  I  would 
never  see  again.  It  did  not  seem 
to  be  much  of  a  surprise,  I  had 
been  forewarned.  Some  time  later 

si 


I  was  told  that  I  had  one  thumb 
removed  and  my  left  leg  laid  bare 
to  the  bone.  It  had  been  found 
necessary  to  remove  both  eye- 
balls as  they  had  been  cut  by  small 
bits  of  rock. 

Some  time  after  I  became  ra- 
tional and  could  get  my  thinking 
apparatus  to  working  again.  I 
realized  that  there  was  only  my- 
self that  had  been  blown  up,  but 
nevertheless  here  in  bed  with  me 
was  still  that  something  for  which 
I  could  not  account.  I  knew  noth- 
ing of  psychology  or  philosophy, 
and  had  no  interest  in  religion  of 
any  kind  for  nearly  twenty  years. 
I  had  never  reached  over  to  see 
positively  that  there  really  was 
another  in  the  bed  with  me,  but 
I  now  knew  positively  that  there 
was  no  human  being  there.  I  did 
not  speak  to  anyone  about  it  but 
I  hoped  with  all  my  heart  that  it 
might  go  away.  It  had  been  with 
me  nearly  two  months,  when  one 
morning  on  awaking  I  felt  that  it 
was  gone.  What  a  relief  that  was 
to  me!  My  superstitious  fears 
had  been  frightfully  aroused.  The 

22 


shock  from  the  explosion  had 
been  great  enough  to  disorder  my 
brain  and  I  was  afraid  that  I 
might  be  permanently  unbalanced. 
It  was  more  than  a  year  before  I 
could  bear  to  have  my  head 
touched. 

The  full  horror  of  blindness  did 
not  make  itself  felt  for  the  few 
months  that  I  was  compelled  to 
keep  my  bed.  There  was  always 
someone  to  feed  me;  to  take  care 
of  me;  to  read  to  and  to  talk  to 
me,  so  at  that  time  I  did  not  miss 
my  eyes  so  very  badly.  When  I 
was  able  to  walk  with  someone  to 
help  me,  I  was  afraid  to  move  for 
fear  of  falling,  and  the  fear  in- 
creased when  I  tried  to  walk 
alone.  There  always  seemed  to 
be  a  yawning  chasm  just  in  front 
of  me.  Then  it  was  that  the  full 
realization  of  my  helplessness  was 
forced  upon  me.  There  was  long 
mental  suffering  to  pass  through 
which  was  fully  as  great  as  the 
physical  had  been.  I  could  not 
reconcile  myself  to  being  blind; 
life  did  not  seem  worth  while!  I 
felt  then  that  it  would  have  been 

33 


much  better  if  I  had  died.  I  had 
no  hope  at  all  for  the  future,  but 
to  be  the  inmate  of  some  blind 
asylum. 

After  some  months  I  was  able 
to  take  short  walks  from  the  hos- 
pital when  accompanied  by  some 
one.  That  was  a  diversion. 

Six  months  or  so  after  I  had 
been  in  the  hospital,  I  heard  of  an 
embossed  system  of  reading. 
Through  the  assistance  of  a  little 
friend  who  came  to  see  me,  I  was 
enabled  to  learn  the  method  in  a 
very  short  time,  all  things  con- 
sidered. 

The  little  girl  who  helped  me 
to  use  the  embossed  type  had  long 
been  a  frequenter  of  the  hospital, 
even  before  I  was  taken  there. 
She  came  to  bring  the  patients 
flowers  gathered  from  the  sur- 
rounding hills. 

One  day  when  I  was  out  on  the 
porch  the  nurse  brought  her  over 
to  where  I  was  lying,  and  said, 
"Here  is  a  little  girl  to  see  you, 
Charley."  That  was  the  begin- 
ning of  a  very  agreeable  acquaint- 
ance. Many  times  in  my  darkness 

34 


and  depression  she  would  come  to 
the  hospital  with  flowers  for  me 
and  would  stay  and  talk  to  me,  or 
read  until  I  would  feel  a  great 
deal  better.  In  those  terrible 
dark  hours  the  sunshine  must 
needs  be  very  bright  to  penetrate 
the  darkness  that  surrounded  me. 
When  I  was  able  to  walk,  the  lit- 
tle girl  would  come  to  take  me  out- 
side the  grounds,  at  first  a  short 
distance  only;  but  in  time  we  had 
long  walks  together. 

Throughout  my  stay  in  the  hos- 
pital, the  little  girl  came  frequent- 
ly to  see  me.  Her  visits  were  the 
brightest  spots  of  my  life  while 
there.  In  less  than  a  year  from 
the  time  I  was  hurt,  I  was  reading 
very  well,  which  was,  in  a  de- 
gree, a  comfort  to  me  for  I  had 
learned  that  I  could  do  something, 
even  though  blind. 

I  entered  the  hospital  March  1st, 
1907.  After  long  trying  to  get 
some  money  from  the  company  I 
settled  with  them  for  eleven  hun- 
dred dollars  and  left  the  place  the 
next  day,  the  15th  of  January, 
1909. 

36 


I  went  to  Los  Angeles  but 
found  it  too  large  a  place  for  me. 
I  heard  that  Pomona,  California, 
was  a  little  city  and  I  might  do 
something  there.  I  wanted  to  try 
to  earn  my  own  living.  At  that 
time  I  did  not  think  of  selling 
newspapers.  I  considered  start- 
ing a  little  cigar  stand,  but  there 
seemed  no  place  for  one,  so  I  did 
not  do  that.  After  staying  at  the 
hotel  for  a  couple  of  months  I 
went  to  live  with  a  family.  I  had 
some  diversion  but  very  little 
pleasure.  It  was  always  the  same 
oppressive  darkness.  My  depres- 
sion was  very  great;  at  times  al- 
most unendurable.  I  often  thought 
how  much  better  it  would  be  to 
die  than  to  live.  But  this  was  be- 
fore I  had  learned  the  larger  life 
that  turns  our  night  of  weeping 
into  the  day  of  rejoicing. 


Birth  of  the  Other  Lite 

CHAPTER  IV  . 

Not  long  after  my  arrival  in 
Pomona,  I  met  a  student  of  science 
and  mental  suggestion,  and 
through  something  he  said,  I  be- 
came interested  in  the  subject.  He 
suggested  several  books  that 
would  help  me  in  the  work.  I 
was  able  to  procure  the  books  and 
had  someone  to  read  them  to  me. 
The  subject  was  so  entirely  new 
to  me  that  it  made  a  very  deep  im- 
pression upon  my  mind.  In  it 
was  a  promise  that  I  might  re- 
gain my  sight. 

That  was  the  incentive  that  in- 
duced me  to  throw  all  the  strength 
I  could  command  into  the  matter. 
It  was  not  long  before  I  was  in 
the  midst  of  a  new  world  of  which 
I  had  never  dreamed.  The  power 
of  thought  has  an  affect  upon  the 
body  as  well  as  the  mind,  causing 
a  sense  of  ease  or  dis-ease  in  either 
case,  through  the  law  of  reaction, 
according  to  the  nature  of  the 
thinking  .  For  example,  take  the 


/ordinary  events  of  life,  we  are 
tempted  to  resent  an  injustice 
that  has  been  committed  against 
us.  The  thoughts  of  resentment 
and  revenge  act  like  poison  to  our 
system.  But  a  few  thoughts  of 

forgiveness  may  come  into  our 
mind  and  counteract  the  ill-effects 
of  the  vengeful  thoughts  before 
they  carry  us  into  a  state  of  de- 
spair. The  thoughts  that  we  think 
are  the  food  of  the  mind.  It  is 
only  good  thoughts  that  will  keep 
us  healthy  because  the  body  al- 
ways acts  in  sympathy  with  the 
mind. 

The  mind,  being  a  servant  of 
the  Soul,  must  feed  the  Soul  upon 
that  with  which  it  is  fed  and  the 
Spirit  must  also  share  that  with 
which  the  mind  is  fed.  Here  we 
are  thrown  back  again  upon  the 
power  of  thought.  We  must  rec- 
ognize the  fact  that  our  thoughts 
make  us  what  we  are.  It  is  no 
wonder  that  life  took  on  a  new 
and  interesting  aspect  to  me,  with 
this  new  field  of  exploration  being 
thrown  open. 

II 


At  first  there  semed  to  be  very 
little  change,  if  any,  but  like  a 
drowning  man  catching  at  a 
straw,  I  was  determined  to  know 
what  there  was  in  it,  or  die  try- 
ing. Even  though  my  tempta- 
tions were  many,  I  learned  to 
think  only  kind  thoughts  towards 
the  source  cf  temptation. 

After  six  months  or  so  of  this 
studying  and  putting  into  prac- 
tice that  which  I  was  learning,  I 
began  to  feel  a  great  change  grad- 
ually come  over  me.  I  did  not 
know  what  the  change  was  going 
to  lead  to  and  I  did  not  care.  I 
knew  that  it  was  something  new 
in  regard  to  the  unfoldment  of  life. 
It  seemed  to  me  that  I  might  have 
to  die  in  order  to  come  in  touch 
with  that  new  state  of  life;  how- 
ever, I  was  even  willing  to  make 
that  change,  if  it  were  necessary; 
if  it  would  take  me  into  a  BET- 
TER place.  I  had  reached  the 
point  where,  to  grasp  the  truth, 
I  was  willing  to  pay  the  price  at 
any  cost. 

39  t 


It  was  on  Christmas  Day  that 
the  wonderful  Thing  happened: 
I  went  to  bed  about  ten  in  the 
evening.  I  began  to  tremble;  I 
was  not  cold  and  could  not  make 
out  why  I  was  trembling.  Then 
it  seemed  as  though  all  the 
thoughts  that  had  ever  passed 
through  my  mind  began  to  fall 
from  me  like  the  stars  falling  out 
of  the  sky  and  leaving  nothing 
but  darkness!  It  seemed  as 
though  I  ceased  to  think,  but  yet, 
I  was  conscious  of  all  that  was 
going  on.  As  soon  as  the  last 
star,  or  thought,  had  passed  from 
my  mind  it  seemed  to  me  that  the 
darkness  was  even  denser  than 
blindness,  but  yet  there  was  the 
consciousness  of  the  presence  of 
Self,  although  entirely  helpless  as 
far  as  thinking  or  doing  anything 
was  concerned,  with  the  exception 
of  taking  impressions.  I  had 
nothing  to  do  with  the  events 
which  followed,  although  I  was 
wide  awake. 

I  got  the  impression  of  passing 
through  dark  space  in  an  upward 
direction  at  a  great  rate  of  speed, 

40 


which  seemed  a  long  time;  I  was 
just  beginning  to  wonder  if  there 
was  to  be  no  end  to  the  extreme 
darkness.  All  at  once,  without 
any  warning,  I  shot  out  into  a 
lighted  space!  I  felt  a  surprise 
mixed  with  gladness  and  awe  as 
I  got  the  impression,  'THIS  IS 
HEAVEN !'  The  light  was  of  an 
orange  hue ;  it  seemed  to  be  every- 
where but  its  source  was  not  evi- 
dent. I  had  no  sense  of  being 
blind  nor  had  I  any  recollection  of 
ever  having  been  in  that  condi- 
dition.  I  began  to  look  around. 

It  is  hard  to  say  what  I  saw 
first,  for  there  was  a  great  deal  of 
confusion  which  seemed  to  last 
a  long  time.  It  seemed  as  though 
the  earth  had  been  lifted  up  very 
close  to  the  large  and  beautiful 
stars,  so  close  in  fact,  that  I  could 
almost  reach  out  and  touch  them 
with  my  hand.  There  seemed  also 
to  be  a  great  number  of  people 
talking  all  at  once,  yet  no  one  was 
visible  except  myself. 

After  the  confusion  had  passed, 
perfect  silence  prevailed,  and  I 
had  a  better  chance  to  look  about. 

41 


I  was  standing  upon  the  earth 
looking  out  of  a  pair  of  perfect 
eyes;  but  the  most  peculiar  thing 
about  it  was  that  I  could  see  my 
back  as  well  as  my  face.  I  could 
even  see  the  color  of  my  eyes.  I 
was  entirely  nude  but  had  no 
sense  of  being  so. 

As  I  stood  looking  about  I  did 
not  realize  any  sense  of  time  or 
space ;  all  seemed  to  be  "there  and 
then".  I  did  not  think  at  all;  it 
seemed  as  though  I  was  feeling  as 
well  as  seeing  and  hearing  what 
was  taking  place  around  me.  All 
at  once  I  saw  a  new-born  babe 
sitting  on  the  ground  at  my  feet. 
I  looked  at  it  very  keenly  and  as  I 
gazed  at  it,  its  head  and  face  as- 
sumed the  appearance  of  a  man's, 
with  a  peculiar  srnile  upon  the 
face.  It  spoke  these  words, 
"YOU  WERE  LOOKING  ALL 
OVER  FOR  ME  AND  I  WAS 
HIDDEN  WITHIN  YOU."  I 
got  the  impression  at  once  that 
GOD  was  speaking  to  me.  As  the 
vision  began  to  fade  away  I  heard 
a  voice  say,  "WE  LOVE  OUR 
NEIGHBOR." 

42 


I  felt  the  full  conviction  that 
life  was  dual  in  all  the  different 
departments.  I  began  to  think 
once  more.  I  noticed  that  I  was 
lying  in  bed.  The  first  great  rush 
of  thoughts  were  of  my  unworth- 
iness.  It  kept  running  through 
my  mind,  "God  has  spoken  even 
to  me!"  It  would  be  impossible 
to  tell  how  humble  I  felt. 

The  rest  of  the  night  I  lay  pon- 
dering over  the  wonderful  experi- 
ences I  had  passed  through.  When 
morning  came  I  was  a  little  sur- 
prised to  note  that  I  could  not  see, 
but  was  glad  for  the  first  time 
since  I  became  blind,  that  if  it 
were  necessary  for  me  to  be  blind 
and  yet  see  such  wonders  *s  I  had 
seen,  I  was  glad  and  even  willing 
to  be  blind.  It  really  seemed  a 
small  price  to  pay  for  the  convic- 
tion and  revelation  of  the  Divine 
Presence. 

After  hearing  the  people  stir- 
ring about  the  house,  I  got  up, 
dressed  and  went  into  the  living 
room  to  wait  for  breakfast.  When 
it  was  prepared  I  went  to  the 
table  but  could  not  eat  anything. 

43 


I  asked  to  be  excused  and  went 
out  and  sat  on  the  front  steps  in 
the  sun.  I  was  thinking  of  the 
experience  of  the  night  before, 
with  an  overwhelming  sense  of 
humility.  Among  the  members  of 
the  family  with  which  I  was  stay- 
ing, was  a  little  girl  three  years 
old,  who,  after  finishing  her  meal, 
came  out  and  sat  on  my  lap.  Be- 
fore one  word  had  been  spoken 
my  face  felt  as  though  it  was 
shining,  and  the  fact  was  verified 
by  the  Ittle  girl  exclaiming,  "Oh, 
Charley,  what  is  the  matter  with 
your  face?"  I  asked  her  if  any- 
thing seemed  to  be  the  matter 
with  it  and  as  I  spoke  the  light 
instantly  disappeared. 

The  little  girl  wanted  to  lead 
me  around  a  great  deal  that  day, 
so  I  went  with  her  everywhere  she 
wanted  to  lead  me,  as  I  felt  that  I 
could  not  do  otherwise.  I  could 
not  think  of  telling  anyone  what 
I  had  passed  through,  it  seemed 
so  sacred  and  to  concern  me  only. 
In  my  mind  it  was  something  en- 
tirely separated  from  the  natural 
every-day  events  of  life. 

44 


After  years    of    meditation  and 
study  I  have  found  that  that  which 
I  had  experienced  has  everything 
to  do  with  our  every  day  life.     I 
was  really  being  taught  of  God. 
I  had  no  power  to  think  while  in 
that  condition.    It  was  a  state  of 
consciousness  conceiving  the 
things  that  were  later  to  be  de- 
sired by  the  intelligence.    In  pass- 
ing into  a  strange  and  unknown 
state  of  life  one  is  always,  at  first, 
confused.     Consciousness    is    the 
other  hemisphere    in    life    which 
science  does  not  recognize  as  hav- 
ing any  real  share  in  life.     The 
nudeness   of  the   form   was   con- 
sciousness without  being  clothed 
with  the  intelligence.     It  is  only 
when  the  natural  intelligence  has 
been  added  to  the  consciousness 
that  there  is  an  understanding  of 
what  really    takes    place.     Con- 
sciousness separated  from  intelli- 
gence does  not  recognize  time  nor 
space,  as  there  is  nothing  lacking, 
but,  on  the  contrary,  perfect  com- 
pleteness exists. 

4ft 


The  intelligence  requires  time 
and  space  to  work  out  and  under- 
stand the  perfection  of  the  inner 
life.  When  one  recognizes  the 
duality  of  life  one  finds  that  there 
is  a  neighbor  that  needs  our  help 
as  much  as  we  need  his.  There 
must  be  an  entering  into  the  con- 
sciousness of  the  greater  life  on 
earth.  It  may  come  to  one  per- 
son in  one  way  and  to  another  in 
a  different  way;  but  all  I  know  is 
that  it  came  to  me  in  the  way  that 
I  am  trying  to  explain  in  this 
book. 

In  the  opening  of  this  vision 
there  was  an  ascension,  but  be- 
fore the  ascension  took  place  came 
the  falling  away  of  every  thought 
pertaining  to  the  ways  of  the 
world.  That  was  the  passing 
away  of  the  old  world  and  the  dis- 
covery of  a  new  one.  When  this 
old  world  pased  away,  it  took  with 
it  all  my  cares  and  nothing  was 
left  but  the  gladness  and  joy  of 
the  new.  The  whole  aspect  of  life 
has  undergone  a  complete  change. 
All  that  had  seemed  gross  and 
useless  had  taken  on  a  new  value. 

!  46 


The  days  and  nights  fly  by  on 
golden  wings.  The  world  within 
is  greater  and  more  glorious  than 
the  world  without.  Yet  it  is  only 
by  our  human  experiences  in  Time 
that  the  spiritual  and  eternal  be- 
come to  us  real  and  familiar  as 
the  natural  life.  In  sweet  fellow- 
ship with  the  living  loving  God  I 
cm  glad  for  all,  because  they  must 
also,  sometime  and  somehow, 
come  into  the  land  of  Joy  and 
Light  Divine. 


47 


Growth  of  the  Other  Life 


CHAPTER  V. 

On  the  second  morning  after 
the  first  vision,  I  was  sitting  in 
the  living  room  reading  one  of 
my  embossed  books.  It  was  one 
of  the  Books  of  the  Bible.  I  was 
just  reading  a  passage  with  the 
word  Angel  in  it,  when  all  of  a 
sudden  without  any  warning,  I 
saw  a  vast  number  of  figures 
clothed  in  white  robes,  bearing 
torches.  They  were  descending 
and  as  they  drew  nearer  they  in- 
creased in  number  until  the  whole 
heavens  were  filled  with  them. 
When  they  came  close  enough  I 
could  see  that  their  feet  and  arms 
were  bare  and  that  their  faces 
wore  a  beautiful  expression.  They 
all  entered  into  my  head  and  in 
an  instant  I  saw  myself  standing 
on  the  porch  of  a  house  facing 
the  east.  I  was  not  thinking,  only 
obeying  the  impulses  which  I  re- 
ceived, and  taking  impressions.  I 
could  not  say  that  I  was  a  little 
to  the  north  of  the  door,  as  every- 

4S 


thing  seemed  to  be  east;  but  I 
stocTd  a  little  to  the  right  hand 
side  and  faced  it. 

This  time  I  was  fully  dressed, 
even  to  having  shoes  on  but  no 
hat.  The  light  was  that  of  the 
day,  however  no  sun  was  visible, 
and  it  was  not  quite  so  bright  as 
it  would  have  been  on  a  clear, 
sunshiny  day,  yet  clear  enough  to 
see  things  plainly.  The  door  was 
wide  open  and  I  was  near  a  win- 
dow but  could  not  see  anything 
within  the  house.  As  I  stood  there 
looking,  I  saw  something  float- 
ing out  through  the  door  and 
fasten  itself  upon  the  wall  at  my 
side,  about  shoulder  high.  I 
turned  to  see  what  it  was.  This 
is  what  I  saw,  spelled  out  in  large 
gold  letters,  "HOLY  FATHER", 
and  as  I  turned  back  to  the  door 
cnce  more  I  saw  a  number  of  very 
aged  men  coming  out  of  the 
house;  their  hair  and  whiskers 
were  long  and  gray,  not  pure 
white  but  a  sprinkling  of  black 
and  white;  there  may  have  been 
six  or  seven  of  them  all  having 
the  .same  .  appearance.  They 

49 


reached  from  the  edge  of  the  porch 
to  the  door.  When  they  were  all 
out  of  the  house  they  faced  me, 
and  I  could  see  that  they  were 
fully  clothed  even  to  having  on 
shoes,  but  they,  too,  were  minus 
their  hats.  My  impression  was 
that  these  were  the  wise  men,  and 
throughout  the  vision  I  had  the 
impression  that  God  was  in  the 
house. 

I  turned  from  the  house  to  look 
out  upon  a  vast  level  plain  that 
was  stretched  out  before  me.  A 
vast  multitude  of  people  was  gath- 
ered together  on  this  plain  and 
they  were  swaying  to  and  fro  in 
a  terrible  struggle.  The  wise  men 
standing  at  my  side,  seemed  to 
tell  me,  without  speaking,  that 
this  represents  a  game  of  chess 
and  all  the  players  are  living  be- 
ings: I  was  impelled  to  want  to 
know  why  this  terrible  struggle 
was  taking  place  and  I  was  made 
to  look  far  beyond  the  people. 
Nothing  was  there,  but  I  got  the 
impression  of  a  great  vacuum. 
The  vision  passed  from  me  as 
quickly  as  it  had  come  and  I  was 

50 


still  sitting  on  the  chair  with  my 
finger  on  the  same  word  "Angel" 
that  I  had  been  reading. 

I  was  so  filled  with  wonder  and 
amazement  at  this  second  great 
experience  that  it  was  some  time 
before  my  thinking  organs  re- 
gained their  normal  state.  I  did 
not  leave  my  chair,  but  stayed  and 
pondered  many  hours  upon  the 
strange  condition  that  had  so  filled 
me  with  wonder. 

Here  I  was  again,  thrown  into, 
or  carried  into  a  foreign  country 
or  land,  where  there  was  a  lan- 
guage without  words.  It  is  a 
language  that  must  be  understood 
through  the  operation  of  the  un- 
derstanding of  the  form-world 
representing  the  Universe  of 
Qualities. 

The  double  meaning  of  life  be- 
comes more  evident  to  me  as  I 
labor  with  the  problems  that  pre- 
sent themselves.  Every  object 
has  a  double  meaning  and  one 
must  have  a  very  keen  discern- 
ment to  distinguish  between  them 
and  get  their  true  meaning.  This 
new  language  (I  call  it  the  form 

51 


language)  is  not  for  any  one  per- 
son but  for  all  humanity:  this  is 
the  one  language  cf  all  peoples 
and  nations.  The  first  vision 
shows  the  ascent  out  of  darkness 
into  light.  In  the  second  vision 
it  was  the  light  descending  to  dis- 
pel the  darkness  below.  It  is  a 
GOOD  thing  to  understand  the 
full  meaning  of  life  and  so  long 
as  we  only  understand  a  portion 
there  will  continue  to  be  a  con- 
sciousness of  evil.  The  evil  is  the 
vacuum  or  lack  of  understanding 
in  us  that  must,  at  last,  be  filled 
with  the  knowledge  cf  all. 

When  we  begin  to  recognize  the 
duality  of  life,  there  seems  to  be 
two  hosts  at  war  against  each 
other  in  our  being.  For  a  long 
time  cne  is  apt  to  think  of  them 
as  the  powers  of  good  and  evil, 
but,  later  on,  becoming  more  able 
to  grasp  the  inner  meaning,  it  will 
be  readily  understood  that  it  is  the 
double  nature  of  life  that  we  are 
struggling  to  understand,  and  we 
must  draw  our  strength  from  both 
the  Natural  and  the  Spiritual 

52 


sides  to  solve  the  greatest  of  all 
problems,  LIFE! 

Life  rright  well  be  called  a 
game  of  chess.  There  are  many 
forrrs  and  characters  brought  into 
action ;  all  the  different  characters 
have  their  own  way  to  operate  or 
move.  The  two  players  in  a  game 
of  chess  does  not  mean  that  one  is 
evil  and  the  other,  good ;  they  may 
both  be  good.  The  same  power 
is  in  both  players,  the  one  trying 
to  out-do  the  other  in  skill  and 
brilliancy.  Two  players  do  not 
have  to  be  enemies  in  order  that 
they  may  show  their  best  skilL 
On  the  contrary,  it  is  a  known  fact 
that  they  like  each  other  better 
for  having  put  up  a  good  game. 
In  all  the  Sacred  Writings  and  in 
many  poets'  works  there  is  a  con- 
tinuous reference  to  these  Two 
Hosts  arrayed  in  battle  formation. 
This  is  not  the  arraying  of  mor- 
tals, against  mortals,  but  the  ar- 
rpying  of  the  Immortal  against 
the  Immortal;  God  on  the  one 
side  and  man  on  the  other;  God 
pouring  out  His  Spirit  into  Man 

r.3 


as  he  is  able  to  use  it.  God  does 
not  put  any  more  pressure  upon 
man  than  he  is  able  to  resist  or 
bear. 

Life  is  a  wonderful  drama  and 
one  enjoys  it  more  and  more  as 
one  learns  to  know  and  under- 
stand the  different  characters  that 
are  brought  into  play  from  time 
to  time.  These  characters,  as  one 
will  find,  are  countless;  but  even 
though  they  are  without  number 
they  can  be  known  and  under- 
stood and  fully  appreciated.  This 
game  of  life  is  not  something  to 
be  enjoyed  for  an  hour  or  a  day, 
because  it  is  for  ever  going  on; 
but  the  participants  on  both  sides 
must  be  understood  before  the 
game  can  be  full  appreciated.  Life 
is  character  and  character  is 
destiny.  It  was  predestined  at  the 
beginning  what  the  order  of  the 
creation  should  be.  There  was 
nothing  left  to  chance  or  accident, 
although  from  the  appearance  the 
design  may  be  taken  for  the  crea- 
tion. 

54 


There  must  be  different  forms 
to  represent  the  different  char- 
acters that  are  brought  into  ac- 
tion. All  the  great  poets,  artists, 
sculptors,  playwrights,  musicians, 
etc.,  have  glimpsed  this  dual  life 
to  a  greater  or  lesser  degree.  It  is 
a  great  game  to  gain  supremacy 
over  the  grosser  or  partial  states 
that  appear  as  life.  When  the 
form  is  taken  for  the  character 
that  it  represents,  life  continues  to 
appear  gross  and  in  a  state  of  dis- 
ease, which  must  continue  until 
the  full  meaning  of  life  has  been 
revealed  and  understood  from  the 
dual  standpoint :  The  beast,  birds, 
fish,  etc.,  cannot  understand  this 
great  game  of  life;  and  it  is  only 
when  humanity  has  learned  to 
know  and  understand  the  true 
character  of  life,  that  they  will 
have  gained  the  dominion  over  the 
beasts,  and  in  fact  over  all  animal 
life. 

There  must  be  much  patient  toil 
and  humble  searching  to  under- 
stand this  language,  without 
words,  and  yet  there  is  always  a 
sense  of  pleasure  at  each  new  dis- 

55 


covcry  that  is  made  from  day  to 
day.  It  never  becomes  monoton- 
ous nor  tiresome,  as  it  keeps  one 
for  ever  on  tiptoe  of  expectancy. 

The  true  characters  in  the  great 
drama  of  life  are  clamoring  to  be 
understood  as  our  poor  power  is 
clamoring  to  understand  them; 
yet  with  the  din  and  confusion 
which  presents  itself  at  the  first 
awakening  of  the  duality  of  life 
operating  in  us,  it  is  very  discour- 
aging, and  that  is  the  time  of  the 
greatest  temptation  of  our  life. 
We  are  tempted  to  turn  back,  but 
it  is  said  of  those  who  turn  back, 
that  their  condition  will  then  be 
worse  than  before. 

The  longer  one  plays  at  the 
game  of  life  the  better  one  be- 
comes acquainted  with  one's  an- 
tagonist through  the  exercise  of 
the  characters  that  are  brought 
into  service.  As  one  gets  better 
acquainted  with  the  form  lan- 
guage and  can  tell  what  character 
is  going  to  be  brought  into  play 
by  the  form  that  appears,  one 
knows  how  to  resist  it.  It  is 
through  resistance  that  we  learn 

B« 


to   develop    our   faculties   to   the 
highest  degree. 

It  is  sa?d  we  are  not  to  resist 
evil,  but  it  does  not  say  that  we 
are  not  to  resist  good ;  it  is  only 
by  such  resistance  and  striving  to 
overcome  the  good,  that  at  last  we 
are  overcome  by  the  good  and 
then  it  is  we  have  no  sense  of 
evil.  One's  love  and  admiration 
become  very  great  for  one's  an- 
tagonist as  one  gets  deeper  into 
the  game  and  the  veil  which  di- 
vides the  players  becomes  thinner. 
As  soon  as  man  is  able  to  play  the 
game  with  the  same  understand- 
ing that  God  is  playing  it,  the  veil 
will  be  rent  and  the  mystery  of 
life  will  be  solved. 

In  the  first  vision  it  was  a  mere 
game  of  hide  and  seek;  a  child's 
game.  That  is  our  first  entrance 
into  the  game  to  seek  and  find  out 
the  meaning  of  life ;  while  the  sec- 
ond vision  shows  man,  becoming 
conscious  of  the  life  of  God  pass- 
ing over  into  his  being;  and  this 
is  compared  to  a  game  of  chess.  It 
is  no  longer  a  child's  game  but 
requires  a  very  highly  developed 

57 


intelligence  to  play  it  with  skill, 
and  one  must  watch  the  moves  of 
his  antagonist  with  the  greatest 
care  so  as  to  know  how  to  move 
to  the  best  advantage. 

The  point  of  supreme  import- 
ance is  to  learn  to  be  very  quiet 
and  watchful  at  the  play  of  the 
Divine  Consciousness  in  our  con- 
sciousness, so  as  to  grasp  the  Di- 
vine Intent  and,  at  the  same  time, 
fearlessly  receptive  of  the  opera- 
tion. This  receptivity  will  fit  us 
to  make  the  next  move  before  us 
in  our  natural  lives  wherein  we 
are  not  to  become  God  but  like 
unto  Gcd. 


Full  Growth  of  the  Other  Life 


CHAPTER  VI. 

Just  three  days  after  I  had  the 
first  vision,  (almost  to  the  very 
hour)  as  I  was  going  to  bed  on 
the  evening  of  the  28th,  I  had  just 
gotten  into  bed  when  I  was  trans- 
ported, or  found  myself  walking 
out  of  a  cloud  into  a  lighted  space. 
It  was  the  pinnacle  of  a  mountain 
with  a  cloud  hanging  down  to  the 
ground  and  all  the  way  around 
the  top,  with  only  a  small  lighted 
space  at  the  very  top.  As  I  step- 
ped out  of  the  cloud  into  the 
lighted  space  I  saw  my  own  form 
standing  at  the  top  of  the  mound 
in  the  center  of  the  lighted  space. 
My  first  impression  was  of  won- 
der and  amazement,  and  as  I 
looked,  the  impression  came  over 
me  that  it  was  God  who  stood  be- 
fore me  clothed  in  my  own  form. 
At  that  I  fell  with  my  face  to  the 
ground  to  do  reverence  to  my 
God!  Instantly,  so  quickly  that 
it  was  not  perceptible,  I  was 
lifted  into  a  seat  in  'the  -cloud 

59 


somewhat  above  the  top  of  the 
mound :  and  as  socn  as  I  saw  that 
I  was  above  the  other  figure  I 
quickly  jumped  down,  and  started 
to  walk  down  the  side  of  the 
mound,  with  the  feeling  that  I 
would  take  the  lower  place;  but 
as  I  went  down  I  found  myself  at 
the  top  and  it  was  the  other  form 
that  was  going  down.  The  change 
had  been  quicker  than  thought. 
Then  again  the  change  was  made 
and  the  other  was  at  the  top  of 
the  mound  with  the  right  arm  ex- 
tended; I  walked  up  and  stood  at 
the  right  hand  side  of  the  ether 
figure,  and  as  I  did,  I  got  the 
impression,  "WHERE  THERE 
IS  PERFECT  EQUALITY 
THERE  IS  NO  CONTEN- 
TION," then  the  two  forms 
merged  into  one  and  I  stood  alone 
and  as  the  vision  faded  I  got  the 
impression  of  unfinished  labor. 

Even  though  I  had  two  previ- 
ous visions  I  was  as  much  awe- 
struck at  this  one  as  I  had  been  at 
each  of  the  other  two.  I  noticed 
in  this  vision,  as  I  did  in  the  two 
others,  that  I  always  appeared  the 

60 


same  in  the  face  as  I  had  looked 
about  thirty  years  of  age.  The 
face  was  clean  shaven  and  always 
had  the  same  calm  unchanging 
aspect. 

During  the  time  I  was  having 
the  visions,  I  slept  very  little  and 
for  some  time  after,  my  sleep  was 
only  for  a  few  hours  at  a  time 
and  then  it  was  mostly  in  the  day 
time.  For  a  number  of  days  (I 
cannot  say  how  many)  I  felt  a  pe- 
culiar sensation.  It  seemed  as  if 
I  were  a  scroll  that  was  being  un- 
rolled and  many  new  and  wonder 
things  were  being  revealed  to  me, 
which  were  written  on  the  scroll. 

The  things  with  which  I  was 
especially  impressed  did  not  seem 
to  have  anything  in  common  with 
what  was  goin  on  in  the  world, 
and  at  first  I  told  no  one  what  I 
had  experienced;  but  later  I  gave 
a  few  sketches  of  my  experience 
to  several  people.  Some  said  that 
I  was  dreaming;  others,  that  I 
must  have  imagined  them;  but 
there  was  none  who  saw  any 
value  in  the  things  of  which  I 
spake. 

61 


One  of  the  impressions  that  I 
received  during  this  period  was, 
that  the  human  body  was  a  min- 
iature representation  of  the  Uni- 
verse. Every  organ  and  bone 
must  be  in  its  proper  place,  in 
order  that  the  whole  system 
should  work  in  harmony;  how- 
ever, at  that  time  I  did  not  see 
where  there  was  any  connection 
between  the  human  body  and  the 
visions  which  I  had  seen.  I  also 
got  the  impression  that  there  were 
seven  senses,  and  that  the  sixth 
was  the  sense  of  understanding 
and  the  seventh,  the  sense  of  wis- 
dom. 

At  that  time  I  received  a  vast 
number  of  other  impressions,  but 
they  all  seemed  so  strange  and 
new  to  me  that  I  did  not  know 
what  to  do  with  them  or  how  to 
use  them.  I  was  reading  portions 
of  the  Bible  every  day  and  it  was 
not  so  very  long  before  I  could 
discern  the  difference  between  a 
promise  and  its  fulfilment.  The 
visions  I  had  were  a  promise  of 
the  ways  and  means  to  an  end, 
but  not  the  end  itself.  I  kept  on 

62 


reading  the  Bible  and  had  a  num- 
ber of  other  books  read  to  me,  as 
I  was  eager  to  find  some  book 
that  might  help  me  to  clear  up 
the  mystery.  I  felt  very  much 
alone  in  the  world  having  no  one 
with  whom  I  could  talk  over  these 
wonderful  things.  I  kept  on  lab- 
oring and  praying,  even  weeping 
in  times  of  despair.  It  did  not 
seem  possible  that  I  could  ever 
clear  away  the  dense  cloud  that 
hung  over  me. 

One  day  about  two  years  after  I 
had  the  visions,  I  heard  of  a  book 
called  "The  Unsealed  Bible"  writ- 
ten by  George  Chainey,  of  Bur- 
nett, California.  On  procuring  the 
book  and  having  some  of  it  read 
to  me,  I  knew  it  was  going  to  be 
the  very  help  I  needed.  It  has 
helped  me  greatly  to  get  my  scat- 
tered ideas  grouped  together.  For 
a  long  time  the  visions  that  were 
so  close  to  me  at  first,  gradually 
receded  until  they  almast  seemed 
in  vain ;  but  after  a  few  years  they 
drew  closer  again,  and  as  they  did 
so  they  revealed  their  true  mean- 
ing by  gradual  unfoldment  We 


know  that  a  problem  or  subject 
that  is  not  understood  is  clouded, 
but  it  soon  clears  up  if  the  under- 
standing is  powerful  enough  to 
pierce  it. 

Man's  understanding  of  life 
must  be  lifted  up  until  it  is  equal 
to  meet  and  solve  every  problem. 
So  long  as  some  things  are  high 
and  others  low,  there  can  never  be 
equality.  We  read  that  we  are 
not  to  have  any  unequal  weights 
or  measures  in  our  household. 
Our  household  consists  of  the  dif- 
ferent qualities  of  character  and 
we  must  learn  to  give  them  equal 
place  and  value  in  our  thoughts 
and  affections.  When  the  truth 
of  life  is  fully  manifested  in  Man, 
his  understanding  will  be  godly 
or  like  unto  God's.  Our  love  will 
be  impartial  and  equal  when  the 
true  character  of  love  is  revealed 
in  us.  When  man's  knowledge  of 
God  is  complete  through  obedi- 
ence thereto,  life  within  and  with- 
out will  be  one  and  yet  two,  and 
action  and  reaction  will  be  in  per- 
fect balance. 

€4 


Although  man  gains  all  his 
knowledge  and  understanding  of 
life,  partial  and  fragmentary, 
there  is  no  condemnation  for  this, 
as  it  is  only  when  there  is  no 
further  growth  nor  development 
that  disease  and  decay  set  in.  So 
long  as  there  is  growth,  there  is 
health.  Progress  is  the  watch- 
word in  the  order  of  the  creation 
of  Man  in  the  image  and  likeness 
of  God,  and  there  is  nothing  that 
can  stand  in  the  way  of  this 
mighty  chariot.  It  is  ever  going 
forward  with  undiminished  speed. 

For  example:  A  man  has  a 
piece  of  ground  one  hundred  feet 
square;  he  wants  to  erect  a  ten- 
story  building  on  that  site.  He 
first  goes  to  an  architect  and 
builder  and  gives  him  a  general 
idea  of  what  he  wants.  The  archi- 
tect draws  a  design  of  the  struc- 
ture, and  he  specifies  how  strong 
and  secure  the  foundation  must  be 
to  support  the  building;  showing 
what  class  of  material  must  be 
used;  also,  how  much  material  of 
each  kind  is  required.  He  finds 
out  the  cost  of  the  material  and 

«5 


knows  how  much  each  workman 
can  do  in  a  day.  He  knows  what 
each  workman  will  have  to  be 
paid  for  his  labor ;  and  in  that  way 
the  architect  will  know  what  it 
will  cost  to  finish  the  structure, 
even  though  the  structure  itself 
has  not  been  begun.  There  must 
be  a  great  variety  of  workmen  em- 
ployed ;  masons,  stone-cutters, 
carpenters,  metal  workers,  glaz- 
iers, plumbers,  etc.  These  men 
all  work  together  as  one. 

The  architect  knows  just  how 
long  it  will  take  to  complete  the 
structure  when  he  has  all  the  ma- 
terial at  hand  and  has  all  the 
laborers  that  he  can  use;  but  the 
workmen  do  not  know  when  it 
will  be  finished,  but  they  keep  on 
faithfully  working  until  the  end. 
Then,  even  the  workmen  feel  a  cer- 
tain pride  in  the  beauty  and  com- 
pleteness of  the  finished  structure. 
The  designer  and  builder  could 
not  erect  the  building  without  the 
laborers  and  the  laborers  could 
not  erect  it  without  the  architect 
and  builder. 

6G 


Here  we  find  the  law  is  equa- 
lized be  tween  the  designers  and 
the  laborers.     The  same  law  ap- 
plies to  the  creation  of  Man  in  the 
image  and  likeness  of  God;  God 
is  the  Designer  and  Master  Build- 
er; the  Substance  to  be  used  are 
the   Character  and   Substance   of 
the  Life  of   God.     Man's  under- 
standing must  be  lifted  up  until  it 
is  like  unto   God's  in  order  that 
man  may  know  what  is  the  full 
and  complete  design  of  life. 

When  the  design  of  life  is  re- 
vealed the  design  is  inevitably,  at 
first,  taken  for  the  creation;  and 
many  claim  such  perfection  while 
the  material  for  the  creation  is  in 
a  chaotic    condition;    but   after  a 
time  of  temporary  rest  there  is  an 
awakening  to  the  fact  that  it  was 
only  the   design   of   the   creation 
that  was  seen,  but  there  is  a  con- 
viction that  there  will  be  nothing 
lacking   in   the   final   result   with 
God's  co-operation.     This  is  Man 
entering    into    God    and    finding 
that  to  be  his  true  home,  is  also 
to  lose  oneself  in  God. 

67 


There  must  be  also  a  house  for 
God  to  dwell  in,  which  is  the  real 
creation  after  the  order  of  the  de- 
sign. There  must  be  a  descent 
from  lofty  heights  to  earth  that 
the  life  of  God,  which  is  called 
Christ,  may  be  built  up  within, 
through  the  perfect  understand- 
ing, which  is  called  Jesus,  which 
is  also  called  the  only  begotten  of 
the  Father.  The  building  up  of 
Christ  within,  every  bone  to  his 
bone,  clearly  denotes  that  God  is 
not  revealed  all  at  once  but  must 
be  built  up  by  degrees;  and  the 
understanding  is  called  the  car- 
penter and  also  the  master-builder 
who  is  equal  to  God  in  under- 
standing. 

God  dwells  in  man  when  all  the 
attributes  of  God  have  passed  over 
into  man  and  brought  chaos  into 
harmony.  Each  attribute  must 
be  brought  to  rest  in  its  proper 
place,  so  that  Man  may  give  ex- 
pression to  the  life  and  character 
of  God  as  God  gives  expression  to 
the  life  and  character  of  man.  If 
man  had  been  created  as  a  design 
and  had  taken  no  part  in  the  cre- 

G8 


ation,  he  would  have  been  ready- 
made  like  a  doll;  something  to 
give  joy  for  a  time ;  to  be  wearied 
of  soon,  as  there  could  not  be  the 
reciprocal  love  that  makes  all 
things  equal.  If  man  had  not 
shared  in  the  pain  and  trial  of  the 
creation  he  could  not  have  shared 
in  the  glory  of  the  creation.  Man 
is  to  find  peace  and  rest  in  God 
when  God  finds  peace  and  rest  in 
Man. 

The  house  of  God  is  called 
"Habitation  of  Peace".  Finding 
the  habitation  of  peace  on  earth  is 
an  individual  work,  and  the  full 
joy  of  it  cannot  be  shared  with 
one  who  has  not  found  it. 

Soon  after  having  these  visions 
the  conviction  was  forced  upon 
me  that  the  night  was  to  be 
turned  into  day  and  the  day  into 
night.  At  that  time  it  seemed 
quite  impossible  that  such  a  thing 
could  be  done ;  but  later  it  was  re- 
vealed to  me  how  it  was  to  be  ac- 
complished. When  awake  the  in- 
telligence is  active, — that  is  called 
the  day;  and  when  we  are  asleep 
the  natural  intelligence  is  inac- 

69 


tive;  we  do  not  think  or  cognize 
what  is  going  on  around  us,  yet 
there  are  times  of  dream,  general- 
ly of  something  we  had  not  been 
thinking  about.  Sleep  is  a  state 
of  consciousness :  a  time  when  one 
is  receptive  to  the  Divine  Activ- 
ity; when  the  human  becomes 
passive  the  Divine  becomes  ac- 
tive; these  are  the  positive  and 
the  negative.  The  Divine  Intelli- 
gence being  the  greater  light, 
turns  the  night  into  the  day  and 
the  day  into  night.  Of  man  made 
whole  and  complete — a  Holy  City 
— or  Habitation  of  God — it  is 
written:  "And  there  shall  be  no 
night  there." 


Peace  and  Rest 


CHAPTER  VII. 

When  one  has  an  enormous 
task  to  perform,  there  will  be  a 
long  period  of  worry  on  account 
of  the  uncertainty  of  its  accom- 
plishment; but  when  the  ways 
and  means  have  been  opened  and 
there  is  no  further  doubt  as  to  its 
accomplishment,  there  comes  a 
sense  of  rest,  although  the  task  it- 
self is  yet  to  be  performed. 

Some  perform  a  task  because 
they  feel  it  their  duty  to  do  it,  al- 
though its  performance  may  be 
distasteful:  To  perform  a  task 
under  the  compulsion  of  duty 
does  not  bring  complete  peace  to 
the  doer.  To  bring  perfect  peace 
there  must  be  a  willingness  to  per- 
form its  task  for  its  own  sake; 
when  this  is  the  case  there  is  no 
thought  of  reward,  and  if  there  is 
no  reward  there  is  no  disappoint- 
ment. This  is  a  free-will  offer- 
Ing  and  peace  must  result  from 
the  sacrifice  made.  The  most 
blesed  offering  that  the  human 


7.1 


can  offer  on  the  altar  of  justice  is 
to  do  right ;  to  do  right  is  to  make 
right  division  between  the  human 
and  the  Divine.  There  must  be 
nothing  claimed  for  the  human 
that  belongs  to  the  Divine;  and 
there  must  not  be  given  to  the  Di- 
vine that  which  belongs  to  the 
human.  For  a  long  time,  this  is 
sought  out  by  labor  and  love 
alone,  but  later,  the  illumination 
comes  with  its  great  flood  of  light 
and  all  is  made  clear. 

The  human  body  has  many 
parts  and  each  part  has  its  own 
work  to  perform;  each  part  must 
be  understood  separately,  yet 
there  is  but  one  body.  To  make 
right  division  of  the  body  does 
not  mean  that  it  is  to  be  dissected, 
but  to  know  the  name  of  each  part 
and  its  function  in  the  whole. 
There  are  the  hands,  the  arms,  the 
shoulders,  the  head,  the  neck,  the 
back,  the  feet,  etc.,  all  spoken  of 
and  thought  of  separately,  but 
there  is  no  real  division  of  the 
body. 

The  same  law  applies  to  the 
character  of  life  as  a  whole.  Each 

72 


phase  of  character  and  its  func- 
tion must  be  understood  separate- 
ly, that  all  may  be  understood  to- 
gether. 

Mr.  Chainey,  in  one  of  his 
books,  gives  a  beautiful  description 
of  the  Tree  of  Life  and  its  twelve 
manner  of  fruits.  First  is  the  di- 
vision of  spirit,  body,  soul  and 
mind.  The  Spirit  is  the  root;  the 
Mind  is  the  stem ;  the  Body  is  the 
branches  and  the  Soul  is  the 
leaves  and  fruit.  He  also  gives 
the  twelve  manner  of  fruits  as 
Law,  Truth,  Love,  Obedience, 
Prayer,  Discernment,  Sight,  Hear- 
ing, Touch,  Desire,  Labor  and  Il- 
lumination. When  the  student 
takes  up  the  task  of  solving  the 
mystery  of  life,  desire  for  knowl- 
edge will  be  the  first  seed  that 
will  take  root. 

There  must  be  a  desire  for  the 
spiritual  life  before  there  can  be 
any  permanent  growth.  Like  the 
root  it  must  grow  in  the  dark, 
seeking  for  the  waters  of  con- 
sciousness to  renew  its  vitality. 
All  the  ether  fruits  or  phases  of 
character  must  take  the  same 


course,  for  there  must  first  be  a 
root  before  there  is  a  stem. 

When  the  root  is  established, 
there  is  a  pressing  upwards  to- 
wards the  light;  this  is  the  oper- 
ation of  the  intelligence  in  the 
Mind.  The  Mind,  through  the  op- 
eration of  the  intelligence,  be- 
comes very  strong  and  powerful; 
the  branches  are  thrown  out  in 
every  direction.  The  body  must 
have  the  vitalizing  influence  of 
the  spirit  and  mind  in  order  to 
bear  the  everlasting  fruit  of  the 
soul. 

It  is  the  leaves  of  this  Tree  of 
Life  that  is  for  the  healing  of  the 
nations.  The  nations  are  the  dif- 
ferent degrees  of  development 
that  take  place  before  the  whole 
meaning  of  existence  has  been  re- 
vealed. These  must  die  in  their 
partiality  to  make  room  for  the 
whole  expression  of  life. 

It  is  said  there  is  no  salvation 
by  the  law ;  that  to  know  the  Law, 
does  not  save.  The  Law  must  be 
associated  with  Truth  and  all  the 
other  qualities  of  life;  through 
that  means  the  Law  is  saved. 


Truth  must  be  associated  with 
Law  and  all  the  other  qualities  of 
character  to  be  saved  from  itself* 

There  are  many  things  about 
life  that  seem  to  be  true,  which  on 
further  investiagtion  prove  to  be 
only  partially  true.  They  are  true 
so  far  as  they  go,  but  if  they  are 
not  lived  up  to,  they  are  not  true 
according  to  the  Law.  It  is  un- 
lawful for  one  to  know  the  Truth 
and  not  to  live  it.  Although  Love 
is  a  mighty  agency  in  the  work  of 
creation,  it  becomes  unlawful 
when  we  let  it  fill  our  being  to  the 
neglect  and  ignorance  of  the  other 
values  of  which  life  is  composed. 
Just  to  live  and  to  love  does  not 
solve  the  problem  of  life. 

All  the  separate  qualities  of 
character  must  be  evolved  through 
each  of  the  others,  so  that  each  is 
found  in  all  and  all  is  found  in 
each.  That  is  what  is  really 
known  as  the  evolution  of  life. 
To  become  conscious  of  the  value 
of  these  things,  they  must  be 
brought  into  actual  service  until 
they  become  the  fruit  of  the  Body, 
Mind  and  Spirit  as  well  as  the 

75 


fruit  of  the  Soul. 

The  things  that  Man  can  do  fct 
himself  are  the  things  that  Man 
mist  do  for  himself.  The  things 
that  Man  cannot  do  for  himself 
God  will  do  for  him,  and  it  will  be 
done  quickly.  Life  is  not  some- 
thing to  be  destroyed  but  rather 
something  to  be  enjoyed.  The 
reason  it  is  not  fully  enjoyed  is 
because  it  is  not  understood  that 
all  life  is  composed  of  the  Sub- 
stance of  God  and  is,  therefore,  in- 
destructible. Merely  taking  this 
as  a  scientific  fact  does  not  bring 
the  lasting  peace.  Although  it 
may  bring  temporary  rest,  it  is 
only  when  the  body  is  conscious 
of  the  Spirit's  life,  through  Sight, 
Hearing  and  Touch,  that  there 
come  the  peace  and  rest  that  noth- 
ing can  disturb,  and  the  joyous 
conviction  that  all  is  well. 

Humanity  has  learned  the  law 
of  self-preservation ;  that  is  also  a 
Divine  law,  and  in  it  none  of  the 
values  of  life  are  wasted  or  lost, 
when  man's  efforts  have  been 
crowned  with  God's  giving,  there 
is  nothing  held  back.  It  is  the 


whole  life  cf  God  given  into  Man's 
keeping,  called  "ruling  with  God", 
but  before  this  takes  place  Man 
must  learn  to  rule  himself.  To 
condemn  another  is  to  show  lack 
of  self-rule,  for  by  the  law  of  re- 
action your  condemnation  is  of 
yourself.  The  salvation  that  is 
for  one,  must  of  necessity  include 
all,  as  all  life  is  of  one  substance. 

God  is  the  Unmanifest  and  can 
only  be  known  and  understood  as 
It  is  brought  into  manifestation. 
It  is  the  Manifestation  of  God 
that  is  the  Man  in  the  image  and 
likeness  of  God. 

A  couple  of  years  or  so  after 
having  those  visions,  I  was  com- 
pelled to  find  some  means  of  sup- 
port or  to  go  to  the  State  Institute 
for  the  Blind.  It  did  not  appeal 
to  me  to  be  confined  in  a  home  for 
the  blind,  so  I  took  up  newspaper 
vending  for  a  living.  I  found  af- 
ter I  became  accustomed  to  the 
work,  that  it  was  a  great  relief  to 
me.  It  not  only  settled  the  ques- 
tion of  ways  and  means  of  obtain- 
ing food  and  clothing,  but  also 
gave  me  a  change.  Too  much 
mental  labor  without  physical 

77 


labor,  becomes  very  fatiguing,  as 
well  as  too  much  physical  labor 
becomes  fatiguing  without  mental 
labor.  It  is  only  when  physical 
labor  reveals  its  spiritual  side,  and 
mental  labor  reveals  its  moral  side 
that  there  is  equality  in  labor,  and 
it  ceases  to  be  fatiguing.  When 
the  supply  is  equal  to  the  demand 
there  is  no  sense  of  weariness, 
even  though  the  exertion  is  very 
great  and  fought  with  much  dif- 
ficulty. It  is  the  extremes  and  ex- 
cesses that  weary  the  laborer. 
When  one  is  able  to  divide  one's 
labor  to  the  equal  good  of  all  the 
values  of  life,  there  will  be  no 
further  sense  of  fatigue,  as  there 
will  be  no  further  cause  for  com- 
plaint. 

The  Mind  may  be  content  when 
the  knowledge  of  life  is  gained, 
but  the  Soul  complains  until  that 
which  is  known  to  be  right  has 
been  done.  The  reward  of  an 
achievement  is  not  gained  through 
the  knowledge  of  it  but  in  the  do- 
ing. To  know  a  thing  may  be  to 
talk  of  it,  but  the  doing  of  a  deed 
will  speak  louder  than  words. 

78 


The  reascn  for  the  great  mys- 
tery of  life,  is  that  the  darkness 
has  been  taken  for  the  light,  while 
the  light  has  been  rejected  and 
shunned  because  of  its  dark  and 
mysterious  aspect;  for  that  rea- 
son humanity  has  taken  the  prom- 
ise for  the  fulfilment.  Humanity 
claims  the  creation  to  be  finished, 
whereas,  God's  promise  is  that 
Man,  when  created,  is  to  have  the 
image  and  likeness  of  God.  There- 
fore, through  the  unfoldment  of 
the  double  life,  there  is  full  and 
complete  compensation  for  all  that 
is  lost  or  lacking  in  the  Natural. 

God  says  He  will  pursue  wick- 
edness— and  that  means  one  sided- 
ness — until  there  shall  be  none.  If 
He  cannot  win  us  by  attraction 
He  will  gain  all  at  last  by  the  re- 
fining sufferings  that  wait  upon 
every  wrong  way.  All  must  ar- 
rive. The  Almighty  Will  has  pre- 
determined every  element  that 
must  at  last,  by  many  means,  be 
incorporated  into  the  perfected 
life  of  Humanity.  Then  life  will 
be  equal  on  every  side,  and  this  is 
the  only  meaning  of  The  Holy 

79 


City,  the  chosen  Habitation  of 
God;  man  living  in  God  by  the 
beauty  and  completeness  cf  his 
love  and  service  for  Each  in  All 
and  All  in  Each,  and  God  made 
visible  in  all  this  glorious  beauty 
of  Universal  Love  and  Service. 

The  End. 


80 


V  A     p)  |  o  o  o 

'  M    (  !    n  x  H 


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